women,probably my own wife

[ellis93]

A woman was in town on a shopping trip.

She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second.

In the third,everything had just been reduced by 50 percent when her mobile phone rang.

It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible car accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU..

The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she'd be there as soon as possible.

As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever in the boutiques. She decided to get in a couple of more shops before heading to the hospital.

She ended up shopping the rest of the morning,finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful chocolate cake slice,compliments of the last shop. She was jubilant.

Then she remembered her husband. Feeling guilty,she dashed to the hospital.

She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband's condition. The lady doctor glared at her and shouted,'You went ahead and finished your shopping trip didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself!

While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town,your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit! It's just as well you went ahead and finished,because it will more than likely be the last shopping trip you ever take!

For the rest of his life he will require round-the-clock care. And he will now be your career!'

The woman was feeling so guilty she broke down and sobbed.

The lady doctor then chuckled and said,'I'm just pulling your leg. He's dead. Show me what you bought.

_________________

Ju

[skilletky]

i damn near pissed my pants after reading that. thats a good one.

[dazedandconfused]

So true but still funny.

[Mark Nixon]

Delightful.
Shows how materialistic women really can be.
We (guys) find it funny, because in reality the scenario IS plausible.

Mark.

[cmann250]

I'd heard something similar before

Here's my attempt at telling a joke on a similar subject:

An elderly couple decided they wanted to take a tour of the holy land. They toured Israel and saw many famous religious sites. Towards the end of the trip, the wife fell ill and suddenly passed away. The man faced a tough decision. He could either pay to return his wife's body to the US or he could have her buried over seas. He consulted a funeral director.

The funeral director offered this, "If you choose to bury her here, you will be separated from your loving wife by thousands of miles. It is also very expensive to return her to the States. It is up to you."

The man replied, "About 2000 years ago, the buried a guy over here and he rose from the dead. I'm not going to take that chance."

He arranged shipping to the US.

[dazedandconfused]

The man replied, "About 2000 years ago, the buried a guy over here and he rose from the dead. I'm not going to take that chance."

He arranged shipping to the US.

I laughed so hard I'm in tears.

[PToombs]

I'm glad I wasn't drinking when I read those.....

[Tacoclaw]

Nice ones.

Ol' cmann is out to make enemies lately, huh? First he starts spreading his Powerstroke propaganda, then he comes into Ellis' thread and out jokes him.

[ellis93]

Oh is that what's going on!

[cmann250]

Ol' cmann is out to make enemies lately, huh? First he starts spreading his Powerstroke propaganda, then he comes into Ellis' thread and out jokes him.

Hey now, 7.3Ls are what got me into diesels and 7.3L prices are what got me into 1st gens

I contributed that joke because it fit. My Bag 'O Jokes is a little thin because political jokes are "off limits" and I'm far to mature to think crude jokes from high school are still funny

[ellis93]

I'm not........ Yo' mama

[PToombs]

I'm far to mature to think crude jokes from high school are still funny

You must be the only one on here that is!
Now get with the jokes, the most of rest of us are too old to remember the ones from high school!

[cmann250]

You must be the only one on here that is!
Now get with the jokes, the most of rest of us are too old to remember the ones from high school!

Alot are good for SOP camp fires, not internet forums

[tampabayBill]

I'm so damn old I don't remember high school !

[oldestof11]

Here is one:

A general was having a morning meeting with his commanders. Before it started he posed a question to them. He explained that the night before his wife got frisky and one thing led to another ending the night in great sex.

He told them it was work to get in the mood and start but he had a lot of fun in the process. It reminded him of work. He asked his commanders, "What is sex like to you? Work or fun?"

He got varying answers on how much of it was work and how much of it was fun.

At this point, a private came in and gave the general his coffee. When asked the same question from the general, he stood there looking uncomfortable.

"You can speak freely Private" the general told him.

"Well sir, to be honest, I think it is 100% fun. If there was work to it, you would have me do it."