Deer Roper

[TWorline]

I was sent this eMail and thought you all could use a good laugh before the Holidays! Remember I DID NOT do this!!!




This is an actual letter from someone who writes and farms.

I had the idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed
it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that,
since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of
me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the
bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not
be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it
down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The
cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not
having any of it.

After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out a
likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope.
The deer just stood there and stared at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a
good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was
mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on
the rope and then received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there
look at you funny while you rope it; they are spurred to action when you start
pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT
stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could
fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no chance.

That thing ran, bucked, twisted, and pulled. There was no controlling it
and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started
dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope
was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.

The third thing I learned, the only upside, is that they do not have as
much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me
off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to
realize this, since the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head mostly
blinded me. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison.I just
wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured that if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck,
it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere.

At the time, there was no love at all between that deer and me. At that
moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was
mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had
cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large
rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to
recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of
responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have
it suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it line back up in between my truck
and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze
chute.

I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope
back.

The fourth thing I learned!!!! Did you k now that deer bite? They do! I
never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so
I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab
that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.

Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where
they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head
--almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and
draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was
ineffective.

It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it
was likely only several seconds.

I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by
now) tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the biceps out of my right arm, I
reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.

That was when I got my fifth lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer
will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet,
strike right about head, and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly
sharp.

I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse --strikes
at you with their hooves and you cannot get away easily, the best thing to do is
try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This
will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would
not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I
screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse
that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back
of the head.

Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besid es being twice
as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me
right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Lesson six... Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does
not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has
passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while
you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head. I finally
managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a
scope so that they can be somewhat equal to the Prey.

[redneckroot]

That is one of the funniest things I've read in awhile. I will be reading that to my students after the break.

[cummins king]

Bahahahaha
lol

[GO OVRIT]

Thats hilarious....After getting skunked today, I can attest to the fact that deer are not stupid.