Ok, both the ASD and A/C relays are switched the same with the positive from the ignition switch (same circuit as the VE fuel solenoid) and the neg switched from the ECM. Yes, the relays are normally open.
The A/C relay does have it's own fuse link for it's hot side but I don't think that's her problem. Reading that thread I can't figure out what her "alternator guru" did to wire up the external regulator.
That's the mystery here and I think that is the source of her headache. The ECM needs to see voltage from the ASD relay. The crazy clicking from the relay is probably the ecm trying to control the field voltage to the alternator or his splice job fried the ECM and it's just going nuts (just a guess at this point, sorry). If she wants to keep the external reg she will have to live with that ecm trouble code and most likely a check engine light.
If it were my truck, I would get the "guru" to undo everything he did, check all the wires then check/replace the crank sensor. If that does not fix it, replace the ECM.
I'm not an expert, just my $.02
PM me your # if you want to get more in depth. My fingers hurt.
SOLD:
'92 W250 LE auto PDR 190's, 3200 spring, Skyjacker 2" front springs with Bilstein 5100s
'01 2500 QC/SB 4X4 6sp, camper puller