Random stories that you've been through

[redneckroot]

I figured it would be interesting to hear some random stories that you guys have.
Here is one of mine to start it.
About ten years ago I was big into jeeps and semi collected them. At one time I had 14 of them sitting out back of my dads house to yank parts off of. Most of the jeeps I had were old cj's but I had been looking for a flat fender to restore and found one a few towns away from me so I got my brother to go with me and check it out. I figured since it looked rough and hadn't moved in years that the guy would sell (this is how I got all the other ones). When we got there the guy comes out in his boxers and wife beater and I asked him about the jeep, it had a plow on it and "it will push anything, except the frames broke." So I offered the guy some cash and he said "its not for sale what the hell would I do get a snowblower that doesn't work?" and my brother said "ummm.. you'd probably have better luck getting one that does" the guy spiked his beer can off my brother's chest and went off on us. I couldn't stop laughing at the guy, he ran back to his porch and threw a rake at us across his lawn. To this day it was probably one of the funniest things I've seen.

[ahale2772]

Last Night I stepped on a skunk when I ran out at 12;30 at night to go plug the dodge in.

Full grown guy, 6'2", in a pair of boxers, screaming like a little girl running back into the house.

I went back out in 3 layers of clothing looking like a guy from the bomb squad.

[CAJUN 93]

i sell a guy a ujoint for a 78 c10 truck. he comes back an hour later says it aint right. i sell him the only other ujoint listed. once again he come back and says it aint right. i tell him i dont know what else to do, no other parts listed. he comes back an hour later with the ujoint out of the truck. i take the measurements and its a crossover ujoint. he then proceeds to tell me they had the same problem when they installed the cadillac rearend under the truck.

daryl

[redneckroot]

I'd have run from the skunk too.

[ahale2772]

I think we were both scared

he ran off and sprayed the whole area, still smells like it outside

[ellis93]

While I was in UTI going to school I worked at a NTB,national tire and battery, in huston tx. After I got out of school I had an opportunity to move up from what they call tech4 status,lead tech/head mechanic, to shop foreman if I transfer to another store in Conroe,about 30min north of huston. It was more money and I took the job.
No body new me at this other shop except the assistant manager,who when to school with me. when I got there on the first day I looked around the shop and seen some Fluorescent lights flickering. There was a tire tech near by and I called him over and asked him if he knew where a lowes or home depot was. He said yes, and I asked him if he would mind riding over to either one with the company credit card and picking me up a Fluorescent light bulb repair kit the guy said he would and was gone for two hours. He went to 2 different lowes and one home depot and an Ace Hardware before coming back

I did something similar to another tire tech but sending him after a "shelf stretcher"

[oldestof11]

Ellis, I have told new guys to go to the parts room for a skyhook or to get something from the warehouse basement.

[ahale2772]

another weird one,

went to New Zealand last winter with my sister, for a 3 week trip around the whole country, lived out of a van, ate oatmeal, slept on beaches kind of stuff, awesome trip

anyways... one time her and I are out in this giant bay, the tide was going out, and we needed to cross from one part of the bay, to the other, whole thing was never more than 3 feet deep.

could not swim across because of the current, so we had to wade, but it was a serious current. Im walking across, fiting the current when I hear my sister yelling from the other shore, cant really hear her from the sound of the water, but she is pointing up streem.

Big, black Manta ray, with a wingspan of about 10feet is cruising RIGHT AT ME.

left a bit of a brown stain in that portion of ocean and ran through that current like a raging bull through a puddle

this was the bay...at high tide


and the mouth of the bay where the manta ray almost ran me over


mother nature like to place me in precarious situations with animals

[Begle1]

One time I was working as a blacksmith in Scotland and I made this bitchin' sword out of horseshoe tacks to kill the man that stole my girlfriend and take her back to Cuba with me.

Anyways, I was driving my 4x4 Astrovan back from my shop out in the woods and I drove past this path that I had never seen before. I drove out there a few times a week, sleeping there every other night or so, and it was a 30 mile drive or so back to a paved road, but this was a big fork in the road that just wasn't there before. So I don't know what way to go, so I go right and am driving along a couple miles and I drive by a giant thistle. This thing was seven foot tall.

So I get out of my Astrovan and take my sword and snicker snack that thistle, then I tie it to the roof of my van. I'm figuring I can give it to some chick as a present, like I do with Zkano socks (the model on their website is the most striking woman I've ever seen. I figure if I buy enough of their socks they'll tell me more about her other than that her name is "Hannah"). As I'm strapping the thistle down it starts to rain. I'm not cold because I'm wearing Zkano socks and thinking of Hannah the sock model, but I figure I better get back home so I still have time to finish sewing together some fishnets.

I definitely knew that I had never passed by a 7 foot tall thistle on the way home, so I figure I must've taken the wrong way at the fork and I start driving back. I make it 4.2 miles back when there's a donkey in the middle of the road. And it's staring at me, licking its lips. I get out to shoo it out of the way, only I have a pretty weird feeling at this point so I take my sword with me. I step outside, still in the pouring rain, and I take a step towards the donkey.

With my step forward there was an explosion of stench and a film of shimmering slime suddenly enveloped the donkey, and before my very own eyes the slime blobbed and warped and disappeared to reveal that the donkey had turned into a gorgeous woman wearing a leather pleated skirt and red lace blouse with her hair tied into a red ribbon. The transformation took about a second. The woman stared at me with malice and aggressively took a step toward me; I stepped back instinctively, with my sword down by my leg, and she pushed me back against the front of my Astrovan 4x4 with her body; baring her vampiric teeth she leaned forward and whispered into my ear, "we are the Weredonkey Covey of the Highlands, and you will give us back our Holy Thistle or else we'll make such passionate love to you for the next two weeks straight that you'll never be satisfied with another woman again."

With the thoughts of Hannah the Zkano Sock Model drifting through my mind, I took my sword and stabbed the vampire weredonkey through her side, and she sighed sensually and turned to mist, heee-haaaawing as she withdrew into the night.

Behind her were at least six other weredonkeys, and they bounded towards me with their hoofs and teeth and boobs and leather pleated skirts and I stabbed, and slashed, and slashed, stabbed, slashed, but they kept coming and kept coming...

The next thing I knew I woke up in a French convent wearing nothing but a pair of Zkano socks, no thistle, no sword and a tattoo of a donkey hoof on my thigh that glows and vibrates whenever I'm in proximity to a woman who is capable of true love and adoration.

[Tacoclaw]

So Begle, how's your truck doing? I guess you're not modding on it much anymore?

[RumbleFish]

Pics of 4x4 astro?

[PToombs]

Wow, all I can say is wow.

[ahale2772]

......................................................................................wow........................................................................................

Welp..... guess thats all folks, not gonna top that one anytime soon

[ellis93]

I swear that guy needs needs to write a book on that siht!
Or make a porno out of it, Mr Pete would buy a copy

[ahale2772]

.....who wouldnt?..... scotish Donkey vanpire's...I'm down